Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Almost 3 Months Old

My dearest baby Kimi,

As I watch your sweet angelic face sleeping peacefully in the bassinet beside my bed, I am compelled to write you this long overdue letter. My brain tells me that I better sleep while you are sleeping because you will probably be awake in a few hours wanting to drink milk, but my heart tells me that I should write to you since I may not get another chance like this again.

I've wanted to write to you since the day you were born, but my life has been consumed with caring for you constantly that I never got the chance to do so.

I promise I will write you a letter telling you all about your birth and the best thing that has happened to me this year.

You are 11 weeks and 1 day old today. I cannot believe that 3 months have almost come and gone so quickly. It feels like it was just yesterday when I found out I was expecting I have a sweetheart who is almost 3 months old. Sometimes, I still cannot believe I really have a baby, a daughter who has my own flesh and blood, and will forever be a part of me. It is such an amazing feeling, one that cannot be explained; only experienced.

This past 11 weeks of my life has been so bittersweet. When I first took you home from the hospital, I thought caring for you would be a piece of cake since I am a NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) nurse. I was wrong of course. I had to learn like any new mom about how to care for a newborn baby. It was not easy. The first night you were home, you cried a lot and refused to be put down. You wanted to be nestled in my arms constantly. I remember crying that night because I was so tired and frustrated. Your Papsi and wonderful father took you from my arms and rocked you to sleep in the rocker while I got some sleep. When I think back to that time, I cannot help but smile because I realize how much you have changed and grown in such a small amount of time. Now that you are almost 3 months old, you constantly smile, coo, and interact with all of us. You are 14 lbs heavy and 24 inches long. I love waking up to you in the morning because you are all bright eyes and bushy tailed and smile as soon as you see me. You are like a breath of fresh air to me when I wake up in the morning. It makes all the difficult times bearable and easily forgotten.

In the past few weeks, you have been holding your head up straight and bobble a little only. You are soo strong and very advanced for your age. Everyone who meets you says that they cannot believe how alert and interact you are. You smile when people come up to talk to you or give you a smile. Lately, your hands have been your obssession. I'm not sure when it started, but I found you sucking your fingers one day. Since then, you have acquired that habbit and suck on your fingers with a gusto when I am not around to stop you. I find it so funny when I find you sucking on your left hand and have your right hand in a fist all raised up like you are ready to ask a teacher a question. You do great with belly time as long as you are full and well fed. You keep youself entertained by cooing and exploring your surroundings. The funniest thing that happens to you though is when you coo so much and get so excited that you end up getting the hiccups. I feel so bad when you have them because you look so uncomfortable. You get them almost on a daily basis because you get so excited and almost talk by making all these interesting sounds.

One thing that you love is being held constantly and talked to. What baby doesn't like that you would probably ask me. If you are in someone's arms, you are all smiles and carefree. It is so hard to put you down but we have to because we need to get things done and also train you not to be too spoiled. Trust me, putting you down and letting you cry is one of the hardest and painful things to do. I hate hearing you cry and see tears rolling down your red rimed eyes. Most of the time, someone succumbs to your cries and picks you up. Because of that, you are kind of spoiled and got nicknamed "Brattynella" by your grammy. Your Papsi and I are now trying to train you and have to let you cry.

I would love to write so much about all your developments in the past few weeks but I must end this letter now as the time is getting late.

I promise to write again soon if time permits and I will post up pictures of your birth and the past 2 months.

Know that I always love you and am so happy that I finally have a daughter of my own.

Yours always,

1 comment:

Colleen said...

I can't wait to see pictures!! I once heard that you can NOT spoil a baby. They need all that love and attention and human contact. I have learned from experience that leaving a baby to cry all alone doesn't really "train" them not to cry, they just realize that their parents will never come, so they give up. So sad!! So pick that baby up and give her lots of love from her Auntie Colleen :)